the ZOMBIE awakes

This picture of me is hideous, but it gives you a visual of what I mean when I say zombie.

Sorry everybody for going AWOL. I have been in no shape to return calls, texts, emails etc. So I will just give you the low down right here, right now. Hope you like reading novels!

So here I am trying to recover like every other new mother. Maeva was now whole week old! Yep, we had made it one whole week! WAHOO! NOT SO FAST! Unfortunately, a fever of 101 was there to rain on my parade that morning after little sleep the night before. After getting some Ibuprofen in me, Ry called the Midwife, she said it could be a breast infection and I shouldn't take any more Ibuprofen cause it could mask signs of infection if I should have one & that maybe I should come it just to be safe. Well, her office is a good 45 min. away, so I convinced Ry that nothing was really wrong. I was just tired & run down & trying to recover. To go all that way would just be a waste. He then turned into SUPER NURSE & made me stay in bed & sleep all day. He took away all my distractions (like my phone) & only let me have Maeva to feed her. SUPER DAD decided he was going to have lots of awake time with Maeva so we could get some decent sleep that night. Lunch time rolls around, SUPER NURSE comes in with my food. I am feeling a little more alive & knew my fever broke, so Ry called the Midwife again to tell her that I was showing no signs of infection so we didn't think we needed to come in. YAY... right?! NOPE, it came back that night :( Now my fever was 102, and this time I couldn't take any Ibuprofen to get it under control. I still had no signs of infection so I still thought I was just run down. Thanks to Ryan's efforts Maeva slept through the night, waking only to eat. So we were able to get some sleep. I was hoping to wake up in the morning to a miracle, but no. My fever was there to greet me once again; Along with signs of an infection! As soon as we all got up & ate, we were on our way to the Midwifes office. I was so out of it that Ryan had to carry me down the stairs and into the car (After he got Maeva all buckled in the car of course.) Turns out my fever was actually 104! They said the thermometers we were using was no good (but i think we just read ashley's wrong), so who knows how long I had been 104. Sure enough Mastitis was the diagnosis. Man! They put me on some heavy duty Ibuprofen right away & an antibiotic for the infection. I was pretty much out of it the rest of the day, but yes, we got my fever under control & it was a good thing, cause the next night I had diahria ALL night it was so bad that during one of Maeva's feedings I had to wake Ryan up to take her so I didn't mess myself. Yep! I just can't seem to catch a break right? Turns out the antibiotic they put me on has to be taken on an empty stomach! I was too delirious the day I got it to read the label & just assumed you have to eat before you take it just like with most other medications. So I had been eating crackers before I was taking it. I had to laugh. How stupid of me! This time I had caused my own misery. Things can only go up from here right? NO... WRONG AGAIN! The following day I got Mastitis on the other side. I'm pretty sure I got it from a cold breeze. Yep, I'm that sensitive to it. Good thing I was already taking what I needed to for it, so it wasn't nearly as painful as the first time. Looks like both Maeva & I will be staying indoors this winter so neither of us get sick :) At this point I just had to laugh to keep from crying. And now I am happy to report that I REALLY am on the mend & am feeling a whole lot better! All things considered.

Gretchen (the Midwife)
Kristi, my step-mom/Doula

Ry daddy

Now, onto the good stuff, THE BIRTH! In the morning my water started leaking so my Midwife told me to go to the hospital. My contractions started on the drive. They were exactly 5 min. apart. By the time we got checked into the hospital they were about 2-3 min apart & I was 5 cm. By that time I got in the jacuzzi & labored for about 2 hours. When I got out I was 10 cm & ready to push. I pushed for about an hr & then TA DAAAA!!! Miss Maeva was born after a whole 7.5 hours of labor. I was surprised at how normal she looked. I'd heard horror stories of babies coming out looking like aliens, but she was absolutly perfect right away. (Maybe that is just my biased opinion.) It could not have been a more perfect labor & delivery. I have always wanted to to have an unmedicated birth. It's been a goal of mine as long as I can remember, so I did my research. Read books, took a class & happen to have a step-mom who is a pro. at natural births (she was our Doula) I felt I was prepared as I could be when my labor began. It was the most incredible thing I have ever done. Sure it was painful, but I was able to manage the pain by get moving freely & eating so I had energy during labor (I just had to hide the food from the nurse) If I had to be strapped to a bed hooked up to a bunch of unnecessary equipment I would have gotten an epidural like everyone else. That is torture to make strap someone down during contractions. Sounds like the electric chair to me. Our bodies are amazing & know exactly what to do in labor. Intervention messes with our bodies natural instincts. I think it should be used for ONLY for emergencies. I encourage all of you moms (who do not have a medical emergency) to try going natural. You have got to experience it at least once in your life. It's incredible. If I, who tolerates zero pain can do it, than so can you. It's 90% in your head. The pain is not in control... YOU are. I learned a lot from this experience like, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! My whole life I have had random people tell me I probably wouldn't be able to have kids because of my size & if I could, I would probably have to have to c-section. It was so exhilarating after I had 7lb 15oz Maeva to KNOW that YES, I can in fact have babies & naturally too. I was careful to surround myself with people who believed in me & wanted to help me reach my goal. My Midwife was great. Kristi & Ryan were the best support I could have ever asked for. I never had any doubts that I wouldn't be able to do it. The Nurses were helpful & must have really read my birth plan, because they stayed out of the way until they were really needed & supported my decision to deliver naturally. I would have never done it any other way. I loved my experience, because it MY birth. I made my OWN choices. NOT some Dr. or nurse. I decided very carefully what kind of experience I wanted to have & it was amazing.

MAEVA, I love, love, love her! I feel like my life is more complete with her. I've only had her a short time & yet, I can't imagine my life without her. I was so stressed how things were going to work out when I had her, but she just fits in so perfectly and I am so glad that the Man upstairs is really the one in control & knows me better than I know myself. Who better to have manage your life than Him? I feel like I have never known true happiness till now.